Examing Life’s Lessons

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - Confucius

“An unexamined life is not worth living.”
– Socrates

How to start living the good life? Know yourself. This is the first step in making progress towards any lasting change. You may be thinking, “Well, AC, I know where I am at and I don’t like it. You are wasting my time telling me to look at something I already know and I want to change it, not dwell on it.”

What I mean is, do you know yourself? Do you understand the “why’s” of your life? Why do you make the decisions that you have made? Are those decisions made out of spite? Are they made because you waited so long that there is no other direction to go? Do you understand your motivations? Are you aware of your weaknesses? Do you understand your strengths? Do you see how strengths can be weaknesses?

When you encounter different situations in life, what you are comfortable with doing can be a hindrance to living a full life. For example, being stubborn is good when someone won’t take no for an answer, but bad when money is spent on shopping instead of bills. One that I am familiar with, being analytical is great when programming software, but can be a hindrance when wife is crying.

I am not some philosopher who likes to hear himself talk. I don’t care to get into discussions about some tree falling and does it make a sound if no one hears it. I know enough about the world around me that the blasted tree makes plenty of noise even if no one is around. If someone tries to convince me otherwise, then I know they are trying to manipulate me by creating a world that does not exist. If I decide to start down that path, if I let go of what I know to be true , then I can be convinced of anything.

We can create many lies with our imagination. I know I can and it gets me in trouble every time. I don’t need help of others to disconnect me from reality so they can take my money, my resources, or my time from me.

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” – Helen Keller

So, in your pursuit of how to live life, stick with what you know until you know yourself very well. Do not go making large changes in a short matter of time. It took years for me to gain weight by a combination of age and overeating, it should take time to get it off . Please take that in context and not as medical advice. Looking for quick shortcuts only causes more heartache in the long run.

I once saw a counselor/life coach because early on in my life things did not feel right. Things were just not making sense for me. One exercise resulted in an insight that stunned me. I had chosen to emulate, to pattern, my life after my mother’s example. You see, I was very conscious to not be like my father. My father was and still is a stereotypical car salesman. He is a decent guy, however his focus is always trying to get the best deal, to negotiate and even manipulate to “win” in any situation.

I have learned when you run away from something, you are running towards something. I found out I ran towards being like my mom. I learned to be quiet, to try to smooth things over, and use passive resistance techniques when things did not go the way I wanted.

The first step in how to live your life is to know how you are living life now.

• How do you decide to spend money that is leftover from paying bills and food?
• How do you handle pressure? Do you rise to the challenge or fear making a mistake?
• Do you make changes reacting to some outside force?
• Do you make changes by simply deciding to make them?
• Are you more like your mom? Your dad? Why?

Discuss and share your experiences.